Posted by: Tara on: February 7, 2009
I feel really lonely right now. My boyfriend is giving me the cold shoulder and went to bed I guess mad or annoyed at me because I disagreed with him. I feel that I have every right to be upset or annoyed at him, for reasons that I’m not going to get into on this blog, but I was trying to be the bigger person (as always) and push my feelings aside and try to just skate over the issue, but he apparently wouldn’t have any of it, he just gave me the cold shoulder. So right now I’m really sad. i wish that he would just get his ass out of bed adn tell me that he loves me and wants me to be in bed with him. I know that right now he won’t because he’s drunk and stupid. I’m sad.
Posted by: Tara on: January 28, 2009
It’s funny how feelings and emotions change over the years. People change, it’s a fact of life, it’s just a strange sensation thinking about to what I thought I wanted so much back then and then realize now that things really did work out for the best. Things have been going really well between Mike and I. He’s definitely a guy that I can see wanting to spend the rest of my life with. The last time I felt anything close to how I feel about Mike was when I was with Jamie. Though I must admit, I never felt as strongly about Jamie as I do for Mike. For the first time in quite a while I really looked at Jamie’s Facebook page. I looked at his engagement pictures and you know what? I don’t have that “bomp bomp” feeling. Not even a fleeting feeling for someone that you once loved. Maybe that’s because he wasn’t right for me. Maybe it’s because I didn’t love him as much as I thought that I did. At the time that we were together I had never loved anyone as much as I loved him, but now I know that I can love someone so much more. So much to the point that it’s hard to imagine a time when I didn’t feel this way about someone. I’m happy for Jamie. I wish him the best. And I’m happy with the man that I have and can’t imagine being with anyone else.
Posted by: Tara on: January 13, 2009
Sorry for the extreme delay in my postings. So much has happened. I had originally wrote out this long post trying to say everything that had been going on in my life since my last post in November. But the reality is, I’d need hours and a book deal to get it all out. The thing that matters the most to me is that in my last post I said that I was going on a date with my co-worker, well, we’re officially dating. Stared so the end of last year. He’s a wonderful man, a great father and a really good boyfriend.
I’ll try to remember to update this thing more in 2009.
Posted by: Tara on: November 8, 2008
Date night tomorrow with a soon-to-be divorced co-worker with two small children. He’s been such a good friend to me and he is sweet and kind and I am attracted to him…. guess we’ll see how it goes.
**wish me luck**
Posted by: Tara on: November 4, 2008
DALLAS – A man has proven that you can never have too much underwear when he stole more than 130 pairs of panties from a Victoria’s Secret store.
The Dallas Morning News reported online Tuesday that a man snatched $1,067 worth of underwear from a table at the Dallas store Monday.
A police report says a female accomplice held open the door during the theft and both sped away in a green car.
The report did not indicate what styles or sizes were stolen.
Posted by: Tara on: October 18, 2008
Ok… ready for this? Last week, Thursday, it was my last night so clearly I was still home in the AM. My mother took the morning off from work so she can drive my 21 year old brother to the DMV because his license is due to expire (he has a license but no car, hot, right?). Well, when I see her at 10am I ask why she hasn’t left yet…. Vincent is supposedly still sleeping and she can’t get him up. So she says that she is going to take the whole day off and take him later on when he finally get up. I turn to her and say that she really should go to work because it’s about time that Vincent take responsibility for his actions and if he doesn’t want to get up and go when you are willing to take him then he can be without a license. Evidently the boy was awake and overheard what I had say. Well, to make a long story short… he took what he thought what the appropriate response to my statement – he threatened to ‘fuck me up’, slash my tires, ‘destroy’ my computer and all of my electronics. Then, as I’m trying to walk away from him and into my bedroom, he pushes me into the wall, spits in my face and tells me that he is going to kill me. This all happened in front of my mother. All she could say is “if you call the police on your brother you’ll have to move out, I don’t want him arrested”. Oh wait, but the best part is, after he did that to me he punched the counter and broke his hand (yeah!!). Wait, did I mention that he was high when he did all of this too? Yeah, high at 10am…. Good times, right? I left my house shortly after that fun incident and I didn’t return till this past Tuesday. When I did finally return my mother started to yell and scream at me for letting a neighbor help me bring one of my bags back into the house and then proceeded to tell me not to aggravate my brother as she’s afraid that if I point out that he’s a degenerate asshole who should be locked away in a cage, he might do something stupid like break his other hand. Yeah…. So I decided that it would be in my best interest for the sake of my physical safety and mental stability that I get the hell out of there asap. So, I moved out… in 20 mins. I’m staying with a co-worker till tomorrow and then I’m moving in with my friend in Oakdale who will let me stay for a few months.
I swear, you couldn’t make up this screwed up shit if you even tried.
Don’t you envy my life? Admit it, you wish you had this drama in your life too…..
Posted by: Tara on: October 8, 2008
The Associated Press
9:21 PM EDT, October 8, 2008
Hugh Hefner is down a girlfriend.
Hefner and Holly Madison, one of E!’s “The Girls Next Door,” are no longer dating. Hefner said he’s been “down in the dumps” about the split.
The 28-year-old model-actress stars in the reality series with Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt as one of the 82-year-old publisher’s girlfriends who live with Hefner in the Playboy Mansion.
“If Holly says it’s over, I guess it’s over,” Hefner said in a telephone interview Wednesday. “She’s still here in the house. Until a few days ago, we were still sharing the same bed.”
Hefner was surprised to hear Madison discussing their breakup, but acknowledged he knew a split was imminent after he told Madison that they would never wed or have children.
In a video posted on TMZ.com Tuesday, Madison said she’s no longer with Hefner. She also said she is “still filming stuff together” with Wilkinson and Marquardt.
Hefner said Madison learned the pair would never have children or get married six months ago, adding: “The fact that she was depressed after that, I didn’t know at all. That was a revelation in the last days and weeks. Quite frankly, we thought when the time came, we would make a combined statement and we expected that combined statement would be somewhere in the weeks and months ahead.”
“The Girls Next Door” premiered on E! in 2001 and is in its fifth season. Hefner said he and the three women are committed to a sixth season, but he plans to seek out new live-in lovers. Hefner said 19-year-old Playmate twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon are living in the mansion, but they’re aren’t his girlfriends yet.
“It’s now apparent there will be some new faces in my personal life and on the show,” he said. “There’s been moments that I’ve been down in the dumps about all this, and (personal assistant) Mary (O’Connor) told me to cheer up and pointed out that there are girls lined up outside the front gate. At my age, that’s hard to believe, but it seems to be true.”
Hefner’s relationship with his remaining two girlfriends Marquardt, 35, and Wilkinson, may also be in flux. Hefner said Marquardt is in Europe filming the new Travel Channel series “Bridget’s Beaches,” and Wilkinson may soon move out of the mansion and get her own apartment. Hefner said E! is interested in spin-offs with all three women.
The Playboy mogul expects to maintain a business relationship and friendship with Madison, who along with Marquardt originally was one of seven girlfriends living with Hefner in 2001 after his separation from Kimberley Conrad. Wilkinson was later asked to move into the Playboy Mansion in 2004. Hefner said he may again seek out seven or more girlfriends.
“It’s a big house,” he said. “And I’m not going to live alone. I’m definitely not going to live alone.”
Posted by: Tara on: October 6, 2008
Believe it or not, I’m still trying to get over this cold. All that’s lingering is this annoying cough. I just want it to hurry up and go away.
Posted by: Tara on: September 14, 2008
I’m sicky, again. My throat hurts, my body ch, I’m run down and simply exhausted. Figures, right?
Posted by: Tara on: August 17, 2008
I need a new computer. As much as I hate to admit it, I need to get a new one. It’s that simple. My poor dell inspiron e1505 that I got only two fucking years ago is rapidly dying. The battery is completed dead. I can get a new one for $136 from the dell website, but I think that’s stupid to even bother since I still have the AC adapter. Which brings me to my next issue – my adapter won’t stay plugged in at times and my whole system shuts down. Not cool, especially if in I’m in the middle of doings something. Next issue – space. I’m quickly running out of space. If I don’t download anymore movies, limit my upload of pictures and download of music. If I don’t put anymore Sims expansions on my computer or – heaven forbid – another game. And if I back up everything I have and put a majority of my stuff on my external hard drive, well, then I should be ok. I feel that it in itself is asking for a whole lot and I’m not loving it. So, what’s a broke girl to do? Well, here is what I’ve done so far:
Research.
I talked with a bunch of friends, and most say a new Mac is the way to go. I don’t really know how to use a Mac, so I looked it up. It doesn’t seem that overly complicated, just need to get used to it. It’s expensive, but considering the additions that go into a windows laptop that end up jacking up the price, a Mac’s price isn’t all that bad.
Finance.
Here’s my problem. Ok, ready for some math a bit of a back story? Here we go… In Sept of 2005 I realized that the interest rates on my credit cards was out of control, they weren’t working with me to lower them, and it was getting rather difficult to pay them off when it seemed like 25% of my payment was going to pay off the interest. Plus I was making only $26000 at the time and no one can live off off that. So, something needed to be done. I closed out the accounts and consolidated all of the debt with CreditGuard of America. They worked with me and the credit card companies to lower my interest rates. So, ever since then I’ve been paying CreditGuard my monthly combined payments and they disburse them among the evil credit card companies. Good, right? Apparently that was the wrong move. Since I’m working with a debt consolidation company and usually 95% of the people who work with them have filed for bankruptcy or are about to, I’m lumped into that crowd by default, if you will, and despite my good credit score and timely payments to my debtors, I’m screwed and no one will touch me until i am no longer working with the debt consolidation firm. I can’t stop now, because my interest rates will jack back up with the credit card companies. So, I’m stuck with them for at least another year.
I crunched the numbers. If I continue with my normal monthly payments, it will take me another 18 months to have it all payed off. But, if I continue with my payments and send them an additional $200 every month, I’ll have the whole thing payed off by August 2009. In theory I could do that with the help of my mileage checks that I get each month. Sounds great, right? Eh, not quite….
The next year of financial hell.
I’m the Maid of Honour at Stephanie’s wedding. That means I get to spend money on invitations, party favors, if needed certain venues, my dress, her present, and everything else that goes into being the MofH (I won’t bored you all with the details). Also, Makaya’s first birthday and I’ve promised Cinn that I would go up for a visit to her new home in New Hampshire. Oh wait, there’s more. I need to save up to get a new bed (my current one was bought in 2004 from Ikea and it sucks, it’s killing my back, I need something real!), a down payment on an apartment (I need to get the hell out of here, my goal is next summer, guess we’ll see if that’s even possible…), and I need to save up for a down payment on an new leased car. To much.
More credit?
In 2004, I believe, I opened up two credit cards. One was with Dell and the other was with Juniper, which was issued by Apple. I got the dell one not for a computer, but so I could buy my sony camera (at the time they had the best price for the camera that I wanted). Since my original purchases I have used both cards only one other time. I used the dell to buy my current laptop and then I promptly paid it off. I used the Juniper card to buy my old ipod, and once the card was paid off I apparently canceled the card. Now I’m regretting that decision. I called Juniper today, they won’t reactivate my old card because I closed the account over 2 years ago. And, since I’m working with a debt consolidation firm, they won’t issue me a new one. Dell is still open and good to go, but since my current computer is dying and no longer is meeting my needs 100% and it’s only two years later, I’m a bit apprehensive to buy a new computer through them. I only have two credit cards open now – American Express student blue and Capital One student card. Clearly I got both while I was in college. I hadn’t used my Amex card ever until this past November out of desperation. Now I enjoy having two credit cards that are nearly maxed out instead of just the one. Great.
Conclusion??
Isn’t it ironic that in the past 4 years since I graduated from college, every time I get a better paying position or my salary increases for whatever reason, I find a way to have more expenses? I’m not loving this. Not one bit. So, what am I to do? I can’t get a Mac, that’s for certain. At least not at this point. I can get another dell but end up running into the same issues in 2010. $1800 for only 2 years of use seems like a lot, ya know? That leaves me with either keeping this dell and suffering the consequences of having a computer that it’s up to par or getting a new computer dell and being just ‘ok’ for the next 2 years. Also, there’s the issue of payment. If I want to send an extra $200 to my consolidated payments each month (and in effect not use that money as I have been to catch up on my miscellaneous bills, that is money that could be going to pay off the dell.
I need to pay off the consolidated debt, that will free up some needed extra money. I could do minimum payments to dell for the next year and try to curb my impulse spending/ordering food every day at work, but can I could on myself to keep it up? I don’t know. I keep looking at this and thinking it out and one one hand it seems very doable and black/white, on the other hand it feels like I’m just adding more stuff to my already heavy plate. What’s a girl to do???
